The last few days have been sort of up and down. Sunday afternoon I took the kids grocery shopping. Dylann is starting to have more toddler moments and this day was no exception. She was screaming and throwing a tantrum for most of the 20 minute visit. Usually that wouldn't bug me too much but for some reason it feels like people look at me different then with Micah. I get lots of stares when she's casted. It quite possibly is all in my head but i worry people are judging me like I contributed to why she's casted. Here I'm holding a screaming child and she has huge casts on her. So, it stressed me out. I'd prefer people just to ask me. Two individuals in Philly asked and it was much better.
That visit to the grocery store just brought to light a lot of realities of how hard the minor day to day things will be in a month. She won't be able to sit in a cart at the store. She's hard to carry and multitask with the weight of casts today so can't imagine the upgrade. Can we even travel much for holidays? I started to really worry Sunday night as I ran through scenerios and didn't sleep much. Then the realty of flying this poor girl in a full body cast. It was just too much.
Monday I called our care coordinator and contacted a few people in the FB support groups who've been through it. That helped. I got three main messages/themes... It will be hard with some days almost impossible AND the anticipation of it is much worse then going through it AND she will remember none of it.
So, I calmed and just booked the tickets :). One step closer. She continues to amaze me each day with her resiliency. She's so happy the last few days and sleeping good. She even figured out how to climb the stairs. She tried hard a few times to stand today which frustrated her a bit. Each day we are a little closer to her standing. :). She's got this! We got this!
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